Being the Kingmaker

Start by taking responsibility.

“Leader” is the kind of word that makes me cringe, especially when applied to myself. Look at modern LinkedIn. So many posts on LinkedIn are gamified, optimized-for-shares platitudes decorated with buzzwords and hashtags. #leader #thoughtleader #inspired #thankful #visionary. Of course people are projecting their interpretation of their own “best self” on the platform. I don’t fault them for that. Certainly, there is value in portraying an image of collaboration, authority, and gratefulness for one’s career. My problem is the beauty is only skin deep. Who hasn’t seen a colleague or acquaintance post some desperately joyful update that betrays everything you know about their real life behavior? Is it a self-awareness issue? Maybe they don’t realize what they say and what they do are incongruent. Words don’t match actions. I wonder if they’re talking themselves into believing what they’re saying. I wonder if they’re thinking out loud, trying to bat an idea around in public, seeing what holds and what falls out.

Leadership is a responsibility. Leadership is responsibility itself. Leadership isn’t a declaration. It isn’t a hashtag or a TED Talk or a marketing campaign disguised as community service. Declaring yourself a leader is like declaring yourself a monarch. Sure, you can say the words. No one can stop you. But the declaration, online or not, doesn’t make it so. The likes, the hearts, the prayer hands emoji, these don’t make you a monarch. “I am a leader” is not the same as “I am responsible”. Even “I am responsible” is not a complete and accurate statement. More complete is “I am responsible for…”. Responsibility has a cause. You’re responsible for something. That something has meaning. Otherwise you wouldn’t be responsible for it. You could abdicate your responsibility if something doesn’t have meaning and you’re back to vapid declarations of leadership.

Responsibility and leadership are defined by consistently behaving as if things matter. Responsibility isn’t a one-time act. It’s taking care of something consistently over time. Consistency over time is a key point. Starting with zero “followers”, there is at least one person that matters. That person being yourself. Is anyone going to follow your lead when you can’t follow yourself? Highly unlikely. Behaving consistently over time gives the opportunity to accumulate at least one follower: yourself.

Responsibility is a negotiation with the future. The act of setting things in order today provides for greater opportunity or resources in the future. People negotiate with the future all the time. Saving money today might mean more funds to buy a home in the future. It might mean retiring at some point versus working until you expire. Paying attention to nutrition and fitness right now might lead to higher quality of life in the future. Paying attention to your job functions might bolster your career prospects. There are some things in life that matter. Ignoring things that matter provides for a dismal present and bleak future.

How do we get to the happy future with abundant resources? We need to plan for the future today. Planning helps us determine the things that matter. We all have a limited amount of time. Our time is limited daily by obligations and inconveniences on top of the things we have to do. Our time is limited by our lifespan. Our days are numbered. Understanding our limits imposes the need to set priorities. How should we choose to spend our precious moments? To me, it seems prudent to prioritize self, family, friends, colleagues, and community, in that order. As responsibility is met at each level, you can start extending yourself into the next level, slowly and deliberately. That means responsibility to oneself must be fulfilled before responsibility to family. In fact, the acts of meeting personal responsibilities are prerequisite to fulfilling responsibility to family. Who wants to be the person who shows up to “help” with a project and ends up being the cause of rework and remediation that takes more time than if we didn’t show up in the first place?

I’m setting the stage for more to come. In part, this is a challenge in meeting my own personal responsibility. Planning topics for writing and discussion in the present is no good if I don’t actively write now and in the future. If you can plan in the present and act for the future, good for you — you just got your first follower.